KEEP ME WHERE THE LIGHT IS

The song "Gravity" by John Mayer goes like this: 

"Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
 ...
Just keep me where the light is"

This particular song by some means sums up my philosophy for happiness: To always choose to be happy. My pursuit of happiness, like others', has obviously been a process of dealing with pain, anxiety and ecstasy. I do realize that being happy is a no-brainer as anyone could be happy eventually. Why are some of us find it hard to stay happy though? And why would we let go of happiness once we have found it?

This post is about how I struggled to stay happy, and how I choose to be happy from then on. 

Let there be pain

Growing up, I knew that pain is a fact of life. Considering my family background, and the person I have always been, I could never comprehend the words "pain" and "loss". I am extremely blessed to be born in a well-funded family. Dad works so hard to make ends meet, and mom is a lively woman with a heart of gold (lucky me!). Oddly enough, I always wanted to experience real loss, to have something taken away from me (the grass is always greener on the other side, right?). That was my mission during my late teenage years. 

It just so happened that when I turned 20, I fell in love for the first time. I matured with the relationship, and it shaped who I am today. I was so deeply infatuated that I hardly thought it would eventually come to an end (apparently, it did, and I knew that from the very beginning).  The fact that I could anticipate the sad ending did not make it any easier. I cried in bed for a week straight and lost 3 kilos. The pain faded obviously, but the struggle was real. 

To be in pain was definitely a fruitful lesson, but I learned it the hard way. 

Heaven knows we're miserable now

As human-beings, it is instinctual for us to avoid physical pains.Emotional pains, however, paint a different picture. Some of us enjoy tragic movies where the main characters die in the end. Some are drawn to dark, dystopian novels depicting a depressing society in a near future. Emotional pain is definitely something worthy of our struggle as it is usually followed by many of our triumphs. In the end, we all want to be happy. Yet quite a few of us choose to be in misery for a few reasons (please note that I'm not a psychiatrist, these are taken from my personal experience): 

• The convenience of being the victim
• Being afraid of failures
• Negative energy from others
• Curiosity 
• Comparing ourselves to others 
• Constant complaints without taking actions 
• Distancing ourselves from the society 
• Not being true to ourselves
• Lack of courage

And the list goes on. 

Keep me where the light is

From what I've learnt so far, the key to being happy is choosing to be happy. In times of trouble, it is not my resolution that matters, but my attitude that turns the whole thing around. Pain may seem comfortable because it gives us a moment to take a pity on ourselves. But when we stay too comfortably in pain (that is we are afraid to take the next steps to overcome it all), it makes us unhappy, and others unhappy. 

Light conquers darkness. More than anything, positive energy seems to be my savior in desperate times. I love a cup of ice cream when I'm sad because it makes me feel good. I work hard to overcome the pain because my little wins trump my losses. "When I feel sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead" - said Barney (haha, so true!). 

Keep me where the light is

So here's what I've been doing to keep myself away from negative energy: 

• Isolating myself from negative influences: people who are not fond of me, or are judgmental of my flaws, or are constantly complaining.
• Finding something new to be excited about: learning a new language, improving my skills, or writing a blog maybe? ;)
• Stepping out of my comfort zone
• Spending time with my family who are so supportive of me

After all, new adventures await me for every breath I take, so why the sad face? :)

Thanks for reading